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Mary Ann tilted her chin up to the sky and her lower lip shook terribly as her chest cavity heaved with another sob. The child felt heavy in her arms. She rocked it back and forth, waiting for his car, waiting for something she knew would never arrive. The child stirred and she gently pried open his tiny mouth and put in a binky to keep him quiet. The baby chewed thoughtfully, his tiny, creamy eyelids closed in serenity. Mary Ann's mascara had run down her cheeks, her eyes two swollen black pieces of coal in a faded face. She wiped off her lipstick with the back of her hand and took a deep breath before pressing her cheek into the baby's soft head. He nestled into her collarbone, his small chubby hand wrapped around her spaghetti strap tank top and it stayed there, soft skin upon soft skin. 

She took the baby inside, unwrapping his fingers from her tank top. Placing him in his crib, she slipped on flip flops and called her best friend. There was no answer, only a chipper voicemail message. She hung up the phone and overcome by a sudden wash of sadness, knelt in the damp grass. A person appeared at the fence. It was Carol Landon, the elderly black woman who lived next door.

"You ok honey?" said Mrs. Landon, hiking up her nightgown in order to step through the tall weeds. 

Mary Ann said nothing.

"Honey?" Mrs. Landon said nervously. Mary Ann could hear her take a deep breath.

"He ain't coming." Mary Ann said, rising to her feet. "He ain't coming." she repeated. 

She couldn't remember feeling like this. She felt as though somebody had hollowed her out, gutted like the fish they used to catch before the games. She remembered the games, the way he stared at her long, tan legs in her little cheerleading skirt. She remembered the rush when he scored a touchdown, remembered the way she would hug his mother as he led his team to victory. She remembered the parties after the games, when someone had a free house and cool parents. She remembered him getting the scholarship and proposing, she remembered buying the house. He was always winning winning winning. And then he lost. And then she lost him.